Memoirs of a Cuddle Demon

Every once in a while, you hear a bit of news that makes you feel less shitty happy.

I hadn't talked to Claudia in ages. I think it's been two years. She was my first college roommate, and I was her's. And we got along great. She was my hoochie mama rafter (she's from Cuba) and I was her hoochie mama redneck. Anyways, she emailed me earlier. She got married in April, to this Irish guy named Tom that she's been with for about four years. Usually hearing that another person got engaged or married makes me feel a bit depressed, but this wedding announcement did not. It made me happy. And it made me sad that I wasn't there (it was just immediate family, so there were, like, eight people there, but whatever! It still would've been cool to see her get married!). I guess it makes me happy because she's really the first person that I've considered a really good friend, that has gotten married. If that makes any sense.

I started crying a little bit when I saw the wedding photos she attached to the email. She looks happier than I've ever seen her, and when my friends are happy, it makes me feel happier.

Not much going on these days...

I'm rather lonely in Texas right now, since my only friends that I had out here moved out of state. And I'm still job hunting, since I still refuse to work in food service again. Makes me feel like a bit of loser, not being able to find a job. But not bad enough to go to work in a kitchen again. To keep myself busy, I cook and bake a lot, and make and try tosell jewelry on Etsy.

Thankfully, my dad quit psycho-calling me, which makes me supremely happy. I haven't talked to him since April, since a couple of days after my birthday when he told Jon I was getting fat. I got tired of the constant lying that comes along with maintaining communication with my dad, and he was getting increasingly meaner. Hence the fat comment to Jon. Oh, and I don't appreciate trash-talking my brother and the rest of my family, giving me hot checks, or bringing people that I don't know with you to come visit me without letting me know first. And I don't like seeing my dad looking like a dirty, hungry drug addict. Which he does.

On the upside, Jon is doing well in his graduate program, which gives me some sense of peace. And Melissa is happy with her new man back in Tampa, which also contributes to my sense of peace.

Jon and I will be getting a new bed in the next couple of months. We're upgrading from a queen to a king. Super stoked about that. I'm going to start surfing the Internets (a series of tubes) for some fierce bedding sets. Okay, maybe not fierce, but definitely beautiful.

Back to watching the Project Runway marathon!

The things you learn from IMDb...

George Reeves, the original Superman, was in "Gone with the Wind", playing one of the red-headed twins that was hot for Scarlett.

Boredom abounds!!!

For the first time in a while, I am having trouble with my anger. The fucking assbags that live above me, at least one of them being a small child, have been stomping around like a pack of fucking elephants since yesterday morning. Stomping so hard that the ceiling fans and light fixtures on the ceiling in my apartment have rattled. It's fucking ridiculous, and I would love to go upstairs, pound on their door, go in and throw all of them, especially their child, out of their second-story balcony so that they will shut the fuck up. I haven't really slept since 7 this morning (which sucks since it was 2 when I went to bed after a fairly good amount of alcohol consumption at a party) because they won't sit the fuck down for more than five fucking minutes. Even with earplugs in, I could still hear it loud and clear. I HATE WHEN I CAN HEAR OTHER PEOPLE FROM MY OWN APARTMENT!!!!!!

I am, in a word, depressed. My birthday is Wednesday, and I am not really looking forward to it. Almost everybody that I want to spend my birthday with is not here. I have Jon, which definitely helps, and Marie and Nikki are awesome, but... Everybody else is in Florida. One of the things I have always loved about my birthday is seeing my family and friends. Not happening so much this year.

To make matters worse, I still do not have a job. Although there as an opening for another WIC Nutritionist job in Fort Worth. Even though it is about 45 minutes away, the drive would be worth it. If I do not get this job, I might cry. I am also applying for every other job I can find that does not involve me being on my feet all day like my last job. After six months of working in that kitchen, my back was the worst it has ever been. I prefer to avoid the degenerative joint disease that my mom and grandmother both suffer from.

Oh, and something in my living room beeps randomly ever few hours. One small, relatively quiet beep, then does not make anymore noise. Neither Jon nor I can figure out what it is.

Life is miserable when you're really hungry but when you eat something, three bites in to it you feel like you're going to vomit.

Been thinking a lot about weddings lately. Lots of wedding TV shows on right now, lots of people I know about to get married or getting engaged. So, me being a girl with a lot of free time pending a new job, I've had a lot of free time to imagine what I would like my own wedding to be like. I've possibly thought about my own wedding more in the last three days than I have in my entire life. So, I got bored and went to brides.com and, being the easily-amused person that I am, I looked in their astrology section to see what a good little Taurus like myself should have their wedding like. Surprisingly, their description was pretty accurate of what I would like mine to be like.

Even better: my fashion muse, Audrey Hepburn, was a Taurus as well. Go figure.

Anyways, the things I've figured out: the colors, the dress, the flowers, the time of year. Oh, and instead of a champagne fountain, a Sangria de Cava fountain. Which will save an ass-load of money because I would make the Sangria myself, and I can use cheap champagne/sparkling wine to make it. Everybody that I've ever made Sangria de Cava for enjoys it, so it would be well accepted by all. Hell, maybe I would have paella served as a meal, just do one big knock-off of The Columbia, since I've already stolen their Sangria recipe.

God, where are my priorities? I'm more excited about the prospect of a Sangria fountain than anything else. :) I loves me some Sangria de Cava!

For the first time in a while, I'm bored. Jon is playing the Wii, which means I can't start Super Mario Galaxy, and I'm putting off beating The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass on the DS. So, to pass the time... ( A to Z Quiz ).

Lots of weird stuff going on.

1) Still trying to find a new job. I am now 80% convinced that I will not be able to find a better job in my field anytime soon. And no, I still will not qualify for an internship. Which sucks. So, I think it is time to look in to my back-up option, which, ironically, pays more money than dietetics: dental hygiene.

2) I dropped my wallet in the Kroger (for you Florida people, that is the equivalent of a Winn Dixie) parking lot the other night. I did not even realize it until about an hour after I got home, when a guy called me to say that his daughter had found my wallet and recognized my last name because she works at the pharmacy at Walgreens and remembered me coming in. They even picked up the random receipts that I had shoved in there that had found their way out when someone rifled through it and took the $10 bill I had in there. Luckily, the $10 was the only thing missing.

3) I have been sick the last few days with a mixture of a rotavirus and allergies. Very icky. But matzoh ball soup (think chicken and dumplings gone Jewish) and a lot of juice and sleep later, I am much better.

4) I just got a call from my boss. The president of the place where we work has suspended her because there are allegations that she lied about her mother dying three months ago and that she secretly has another job that she is working at. Funny that she should get suspended just a few days after word gets out that she is gay...

5) I am flying home the night of March 13th and staying until the 19th. My boss has already given me the okay. If the president backtracks on what my boss told me does not let me go home when I asked for it, I will quit. Straight up just quit. For real. I will walk out. This job is not so important to me that I am willing to let go of a $350 non-refundable ticket.

Sooooo much stuff going on. A lot emotion and realization about my life. Things like, my dad is more of a shit than I originally thought. Also, no matter how bad I think it has been dealing with my dad, there are other people (in particular, a friend of mine here in Texas) who have had it worse than me.

In other parts of my life... I am still decorating me tree. As of right now, it is 7 and a half feet of retina-burning white lights with some different colored balls on it. After tonight, all of my absolutely gorgeous Danbury Mint ornaments, like this one. It will be a beauty!

Oh yeah, and I am looking for a new job. Because my current job is not worth $9 per hour.

People make my head hurt. Just... stupid and childish people are too much for me to handle sometimes.

I miss my smart people in Florida. :(

Been watching a lot of TV lately... Mainly episodes of Project Runway and Robot Chicken. And it has been rather enjoyable.

Robot Chicken doing a parody of Rainbow Brite is amazingly funny.

Oh, and Beowulf is awesome. Go see it.

Happy early Thanksgiving :)

My cell phone took a turn for the worst while I was in Florida. So I decided to forgo getting a replacement Samsung SGH-t509 and am now anxiously awaiting my new Motorola Motorizr, because any phone that bitches out after only six months is not for me.

I am also anxiously awaiting DVR, because Jon and I are saying "fuck you!" to Charter (the Texas version of Cox) and are getting Verizon tomorrow. Just in time for the season premiere of Project Runway and new episodes of Nip/Tuck and Heroes! w00t!

In other news, my job sucks and I am ready to find a job that has absolutely nothing to do with my field just to get away from it. My mom and Jon agree that it is the right thing to do as well. Thank God.

And... After 19 years, I finally met my half-brother. Unfortunately, I do not have a picture of him and I together, but I will tell you this: he looks a LOT like my dad and my grandfather. And he is big. He is 6'5" and weighs 250 pounds. And my mom and his mom think it is hysterical to see the two of us hugging each other, because I am just under 5'4", and therefore a hell of a lot shorter. Go figure. I completely missed out on the height genes. Dammit.

Otherwise... Nothing new. Except Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess on the Wii kicks ASS!!!!

So I adopted a son yesterday. He was unwanted, unloved, and the guy selling him was desperate to get rid of him.

Everybody, meet ( General Iroh )

In case you are wondering about the name, we named him after the character General Iroh from the show "Avatar: The Last Airbender". It's a cartoon show on Nickelodeon, and it's the first cartoon I've thoroughly enjoyed in a long time. On the show, Iroh is very zen peaceful-like. The only time he gets excited is when he gets fed or when you mess with him too much. Just like my son :) Like his namesake, he pretty much chills out most of the time, until I drop food pellets into his bowl, and then he swims around really fast and tries to leap out of his bowl.

We're going to the pet store later to get him an aquatic plant, because a layer of gravel is just not enough.

I'm going back to watching the marathon of "Project Runway", which I am officially addicted to. After that, a nap and laundry.

I love my days off :)

Ha ha! I just pissed off someone trying to sell me insurance from Allstate. This chick called trying to find Maria Lopez, and when I told her there was no one here by that name, she asked me if I was the missus of the house. Yes, I am. Well, this is Cindy calling from Allstate insurance. I'm not interested. ::pssh: Well! ::click::

That was the fourth person calling me today to try to sell me something since 11:30 this morning. I am trying to play The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess on the Wii, and repeated interruptions in my game and being hungry have made me irritable.

Why do people keep doing things that they know annoy me/aggravate me/piss me off? People at my job do stupid stuff all of the time, my dad is bothering me, and my boyfriend is getting on my bad side as well. I am extremely frustrated with things right now. Soon enough, I will lose my temper and explode with everything that is bothering me, and then I will be okay. For a while.

I always forget how much I miss football season. Until it starts again. And my heart does a little flutter when I start watching ESPN, bad-mouthing Tennessee, all of the things a true Gator fan does. Although, since I live in Texas I have no Sunshine network showing me my games, but that is okay. I just need to hook up with the Dallas Gator Club on my Saturdays off for some gameage, drinking and general bullshiting.

I foresee myself watching a lot more NFL football. I am still in love with the guys from UF's last season, so I try to keep up with them. I may be able to even consider myself somewhat of a Jax Jags fan, since they have Reggie Nelson on their team. And with the Broncos taking on Jarvis Moss and Marcus Thomas, the 49ers getting Joe Cohen and Ray McDonald, the Steelers with Dallas Baker, the Chargers with Brandon Siler and the Packers with DeShawn Wynn, I have many teams that I feel like I can cheer for, not just the Bucs and the Dolphins anymore.

::sigh:: Football makes me happy.

Some people just need to get over themselves. Let it go.

Oh yeah, and I miss Florida. I should be in Florida for a few days in November, the weekend of Veterans' Day, but nothing is written in stone yet. Jonathan's cousin got engaged and the engagement party is that weekend. I may just go to Leesburg and hang out there while he goes to Hollywood. Not sure yet.

My back hurts, and I have to get ready for work. Ick. Another day of checking lunch and dinner trays to make sure the old people are not going to off themselves by eating chocolate cake when they are diabetic or some other such nonsense.

It is quite possible I have made the perfect cookie. Think of the prefect sugar cookie: a little sweet, a little buttery, light and slightly crispy. Now, use real vanilla bean, 1000 times more superior than extract, for the vanilla flavor, and you get the most spectacular sugar cookie known to man. Seriously, these are better than homemade chocolate chip cookies or my mom's tea cake cookies, which I can eat at least a dozen of in less than a day.

Next conquest: homemade banana pudding. To go with the glorious Vanilla Bean Cookies (that is what I am calling then, because "sugar cookie" just does not do these cookies justice).

Woo for baking!!! This will not last long, though... Tomorrow I begin actively job hunting. As in, print a bunch of copies of my resume and take them to the surrounding hospitals, making phone calls, sending faxes, etc.

Oh yeah... And my living room is blue.

So my long lost half brother that I have not seen in almost nineteen years (I was five, he was still an infant) contacted me on myspace. Matthew Froelich. He's 6'4" and a Gator fan. He's a true Froelich. He's starting at UF this January. I'm desperately hoping I get to go home to Florida soon so I can see him! Of course, I want to see the rest of my family and my friends while I'm there, but this is different. This is a monumental occasion for me, one that I feared would never happen. I've cried twice today. Like, really cried. I believe "sobbed" would be the correct word for it. Why? No fucking clue. I just did. I think I kinda freaked Jonathan out with the constant crying...

Tomorrow night, 6PM. That's 7PM for you folks in my beloved homeland of Florida. Don't call me at that time, because I will be on the phone with my brother. Seriously, I'm not answering the phone for anybody while I'm talking to him.

Oh, and I'm officially moved to Texas with Jonathan. It's really nice, and I'm seriously going to enjoy it. But right now, I would give anything to be in Florida so that I can see my brother. It'll happen soon enough, I know, but I'm impatient!!! ::sigh:: I guess the phone will just have to suffice.